It's been a minute...

Hey y'all.... It's been a while... I know.  Let me explain... but bare with me, it's been a hell of a ride.

So, my marriage came to a bitter halt, mainly because he couldn't keep it in his pants. Don't get me wrong, I put up with more shit than I (or anyone else for that matter) ever needed to put up with. 

so many red flags... for 13 years I have had family and friends asking me what the HELL I am doing, staying, why?? Emotional and mental abuse, is JUST as damaging as physical abuse. It's just easier to hide. I lost myself, and for a long time I thought he had broken me. WRONG!!! I bent... A LOT... but I will not be broken. And NO ONE will bring me to my knees like that again. 

He is "Bi-Polar"... but really, that's a crutch, and he knows it. He's a narcissistic asshat! He has been spoiled and coddled his entire life, by every woman in his life. Myself included. And I paid for it. Dearly. But I took every bit of what was dished out. And I swallowed it. 

The last straw -- So, I justified most of his bullshit with "At least he has a good job, and he doesn't cheat on me..."  So much for THAT excuse.  I even tried, for a while, to justify his texting/sexting emotional infidelities with the one woman I hate most on this planet with "well, at least she's 300 miles away..." jeeezzzuuuusssss..... I'm lame.    But then he started messing around with a student (over 18) in the EMS class he was teaching... now you are just rubbing it in my face asshole... so, when I got confirmation in the form of almost 300 text msgs and pictures exchanged, I packed myself and my 2 kids in the van, and headed home to my family. 

Now??? He still thinks he's not done anything wrong. Not really. He said this is the only mistake he's made... ARE YOU FREAKING KIDDING ME???????? Nope, ALL of my nopes, I'm done.  It's been a year in February that my marriage started to disintegrate for real, and May 18th will mark 1 year since I decided to take my life back.

I'm still hurt, and scared... I'm overweight, a single mother of 2, I work weekend nights... How am I going to be able to do this?? Will I ever find someone who really loves me and my kids? Am I doing right by them?? I feel like a huge inconvenience. I feel like I've let my kids down. 

But in the end?? I AM ENOUGH. And hopefully one day, I will find that unicorn I am hunting....

More later... This is enough for now.... 

PS... to my Family, My Girls, My Wifey, and My Chive family.... There is NO WAY I could've made it this far without y'all. I love you to the moon and back.

A Birthday Tribute To Our Nation

Poem by By Bob Beskar

Every time I see "Old Glory", I think of many things...
But most of all our freedom, that so many died to bring!

Though our Nation still is young, and suffers growing pains,
the visions of our forefathers, still solidly remains.

Their dreams are now reality, and their hopes the way we live,
and the blood they shed for us, was the price they vowed to give.

We've weathered many storms, and made some huge mistakes,
But we strive to make life better, and will do what it may take!

Though our backgrounds often vary, our dreams are much the same,
and we'll fight until the death, for our freedom to remain.

The men who formed this Nation, knew well what they laid out,
and sacrificed so much, to bring this all about.

And now each year we celebrate, what those before us gave...
but even now there is a force that wants us in our grave!

We're criticized for many things, the world does without,
but when there is a cry for help; we're first to help them out.

We do it from our hearts, and for our fellow man,
for that's what freedom teaches us, and lives throughout this land.

So as we celebrate our Nation's birth, across our land and sea...
Let's remember all our heroes, who died to make us free!
 

Did you really just call 911 for that?

Seriously??? This guy really just called 911 because the library doors were not unlocked.... (they were supposed to open at noon)

Apparently they were having some issues with the automatic door locks NOT unlocking. And this guy's crops on Farmville were gonna spoil... so he felt the need to call 911 and tell me what a fire hazard it was, and "What if we were all inside and they couldn't get the doors open???"... he wants me to send the Fire Dept over to break down the doors..... um... NO!

Let the games begin!!!

 It's getting dark in south Texas, heat wave in effect, and idiots in abundance! 

911: Do you need police,fire or EMS?
Caller: yeah, um, I know the city has banned fire works, and wont have the fire works show this year, but uh... can we have a roman candle fight on the street? Cause the pavement wont catch fire....right??
911: Seriously? No,sir. FIREWORKS ARE BANNED IN THE CITY!!!

Is there any particular reason WHY the midnight shift can't just do their job??? Oh yes, I forgot... Ghetto Fabulous is the shift supervisor!!!!

So Medic 2 doesn't have mobile CAD, meaning we, in dispatch, have to update their status and everything they do... its really not hard, just a couple of key strokes... seriously.. to put them back at the station is literally the following powerline code : STA SZM2

DONE!!!!!! Whew! I may have burned a whole calorie!

And I swear on all that is holy I will junk punch her one day for putting EMS "Out at the crib"... That is so SO unprofessional! Not to mention that it DRIVES.ME.NUTS!!!!!!!!!!

She's not the brightest crayon in the box. But she is the most ghetto.

Now, the rest of her shift?? Yeah, they are some doozies too!

Here is a list and description of the idiots.. oops.. I mean my fellow coworkers...

Ghetto Fabulous - The leader of the idiots, thinks she's straight up out the projects. Fails to see the need to speak proper english. And only got the supervisor position because 3 other people turned it down.

The Rug - Well, the name says it all... most of it anyhow... He wears a toupee, a bad one. And absolutely refuses to move forward with the times. He still tries to write down all of the 911 call info on paper and then transfers it on his time in to the computer. Someone is going to get hurt before he's made to do it correctly.

Sparky - Wears her clothes about 5 sizes too small... her camel toe has turned in to moose knuckle! Gross, I know, but true. None of us are certain that she takes a shower on more than a weekly basis, judging by her nappy ratty hair. This dumb ass actually shocked herself plugging in her phone charger here in dispatch, and felt she needed to be evaluated, treated and transported by EMS!!!! DRAMA!!!! Well we have EMD, which requires us to ask certain questions... so this incident gets put out to EMS as.... wait for it.... an ELECTROCUTION!!!! I shit you not.... hand to God...

Shadow - Great guy, great sense of humor, functioning brain cells... can't say much about Shadow except that he is currently being ruined by Ghetto and crew... Every morning I come in I see a little more of their ridiculous behavior in him... and it's disappointing.

When 4 year olds attack....

Seriously, the thinking process of my kids blows me away.... They are WAY to smart for my own good.

I send the kids to their bedroom to clean it up.

About 5 minutes goes by and the following conversation ensues....

AJ : Mom!!! Come here please?? We need to talk...

Me: (thinking whatever he has to say can NOT be good...) Hold on, I'm on my way...

( I find my child standing in his doorway... pictured above)

AJ: Mom, I just really don't feel like cleaning my room today.

Me: Tough cookies, clean it up... Now... It was not a request.

AJ: Why do I need to CLEAN it, when I'm just going to PLAY in it again??? Huh???

(not sure where he gets his sass from...)

Take a breath, it wasn't THAT funny! Do you want to hear the rest of the story or not???

ok... here we go...

Me: AJ, just clean you room... now...

AJ: Im just gonna play with my toys again when I'm done, and then the room will be dirty again, so WHY do I have to clean it???

Me: Because I don't feel like SWIMMING through your toys to get to your bed in the middle of the night when you wake up calling for me.... CLEAN.YOUR.ROOM!

He then looks at me like he's deep in thought, cocks his head to the side and says

Mom, you can't swim in here... there isn't any water....

Aj -1

Mom - 0

Consequently.... he cleaned his room... but not without first applying for the captain of the debate team at harvard... I swear he needs to go to law school...

Gonna be working in another city on Monday

Just for the day, but it will still be odd... My boss and I are going to be working in dispatch in one of our "sister cities" due to a funeral that the whole department wants to attend. One of their detectives committed suicide by hanging on Tuesday, so they are all taking it pretty rough. He hung himself and his wife found him... not cool dude... not cool.

I'm finding I'm not good...

...at keeping up with blogging... I read all the time, seriously, if I don't have my attention on a computer, it's usually stuffed in to a book... I've been accused of "inhaling" my reading material... I really do need to keep up with this blog... If you haven't noticed, this is going to be a pretty random post... I'm just gonna lay down thoughts running through my head... is it bad that I want to live in a house with just me, my husband, and my kids... no in-laws, and definitely not his stinky ass dogs... I'm tired of them... ALL OF THEM... my back yard is filled with dog shit and stinks. They have ruined the grass. And my kids cant play back there...

My new favorite show this season.. Harry's law... LOVE IT!!!! LOVE Kathy Bates... She's awesome, crass, abrasive, blunt, honest, brutal, sneaky, smart. Just my type of role model!! LOL!

The rest of the crew is pretty awesome too! I've pretty much decided that IF in the event I need a lawyer... I'd want Adam (Nathan Corddry) to do the opening arguments... And Harry to do the closing.. pretty sure that I'd get off scot free... regardless of what I did!! LOL

Dancing with the stars... Hines Ward is HAWT!!! LOL and Chirsty Ally is HILARIOUS!!!

I've started couponing... maybe I can get good enough to be one of those "extreme couponers", I did really good this past weekend... spent $35 at CVS, including picking up a Rx for the FIL, and saved $75! How awesome is that?? Then I saved another $46 at Wal-mart! If I can get my damn printer working correctly I can print some coupons from home that will save me even MORE $...

I'm reading "Listen" by Rene Gutteridge today... I say today because my friends will attest to the fact that there is a very real possibility that I will be done by tonight... lol

Anyhow... here is the overview of the book...

Marlo is normally a quiet, peaceful town. Yet recently a website has popped up called Listentoyourself and it contains residents of Marlo’s most private conversations… conversations that were held in the privacy of their homes with people they trusted. Soon accusations are flying and the local police force has its hands full trying to sort it all out.

Damien Underwood has been a journalist most of his life. He has been the creator of the Marlo Sentinal’s crossword puzzle until as of recent he has been offered a chance to do a bit of reporting as well. Damien along with his best friend Police Officer Frank Merrit are surprised by the sudden popularity of this website that is ripping the town apart.

And Damien has his own home to be concerned with as well, his wife Kay is struggling to fit in with the Cheer Mom’s, his daughter Jenna, normally sweet and easy-going has become sullen and in trouble at school for hitting another girl, his son Hunter is spending too much time in his room on the computer and Damien is concerned with what he may be looking at.

I'm only on chapter 4... but hey, I just started the book this morning!! I will post more about the book later...

TTFN

It's Been A While......

hmmm.... its been a while, sorry. Lots going on. A husband that is bi-polar.... a 14 year old step son (need I say more)... the 2 little ones, 5 dogs, a father in-law..... that's just what I have to deal with at home!!!!

At work?? You wanna know what's going on there???? HA!!!

This is my shift....

Coconut - is in whatever mood everyone else is in, overly dramatic, always sick, with a kid that's always sick.

Dispatch Diva - well, in HER universe the world just revolves around her and she shoots sunshine out of her ass.... yeah, not so much.

NN - she's the nice one, with a husband like mine... bless her heart.

and then there is me...

We've had our little dispatch world completely turned upside down. A new CAD system and construction that will make our Comm center larger. This is really starting to show peoples faults... and this shit is funny!!!!

Coconut can't do Pro QA to save her life, let alone anyone elses....

Diva just sucks, period, nothing further to add here.... ok, maybe just this...

Dear Diva,

I know you think because you have been here longer than anyone on this shift that you are just the best thing to hit this Comm Center, well... guess what sister... YOU.ARE.WRONG!!!! I can run circles around you and your shitty dispatching, you wanna know why we keep stepping on your toes and you "just aren't given the opportunity to learn and do it" yourself?? Because by the time you get it done everyone will already be on scene and we are TIRED of waiting for you to pull your head out of your ass and get shit done!!!!!

THAT is all.