Things I have learned as a mother of a two y/o boy

Hot Wheels cars and basketball bathtub toys DO not fit down the toilet....

My husband called me at work to let me know that our guest bathroom toilet was stopped up... I have a 2 y/o and a 1 y/o son that I'm now thinking either one of them has surely put something in the toilet. naturally, I told him to go get the plunger and give that a try...

no luck.

I got home from work and hubby was still plunging away (3 hours later), you'd think that he would've given up by now ( I would have ).

Knowing what kind of answer I was probably going to get, I STILL decided to ask my son "AJ, did you put anything in the potty?"

2 y/o
-- "Yeah mommy, I go potty in the big boy toilet!"

Me
-- "No baby, did you put a toy in the potty?"

2 y/o
--"Oh! Yeah, my basketball!"

Oh shit.... Now I start counting bath toys... all fish toys are present and accounted for, one red basket ball... check one green basketball... check yellow basketball.... MIA

I'm gonna kill him now.... Deep breath Christy... Deep breath....

By now I have called a plumber and scheduled them to come out and take a look and give me an idea of how much this was going to cost to fix... Apparently, it costs over $150 to auger a childs toy out of a toilet... I'm thinking "Fuck you!", but opt out for the much less offensive "Ok, well, thanks anyhow... but I can go BUY an auger for $10 at Lowe's and do the rest myself" (nice of me, huh? )

So, an hour later and $50 spent at Lowe's, because apparently my hubby and I are incapable of only purchasing what we CAME FOR, we are back at home... to find the toilet bowl filled back up to the brim....WTH???

Hubby to my Father In Law...

"Hey, Papa??? Did you pour something in to the toilet???"

Papa...

"Yeah, soap and water and denture cleaner."

Hubby...

"Any particular reason WHY???"

Papa...

"Well, I wanted to see if I could flush out the toy.... " (this is said with MUCH sarcasm)


So, cussing under his breath and trying not to say anything shitty to my Father in Law (no pun intended here... heeheehee), my hubby gets down to augering.... after about an hour of struggling with the damn thing, he gets frustrated and decides to jam it down the toilet as hard as he can, thinking he will dislodge the toy.... yeah, not so much.

The auger snapped... aaauuuggghhh!!!!!!

So, after multiple phone calls to other parents of little boys, my husbands best friend (who happens to be a handy man) and another relative that worked as a plumber for some time. We have goten the same advice from all of them... take the toilet away from the wall and release the toy that way... I'm not looking forward to THIS adventure.

Back to Lowe's.

One wax ring, 4 bolts, washers and nuts later.... we have drained the toilet (yes, this includes the water in the tank) and made sure that the water was turned off. My husband removes the toilet (I sooooooo didn't realize how heavy the porcelain throne was) and carries it outside. We tip it over, and sure enough.... there is my 2 y/o sons bath toy... Hubby pops it out of the pipe, to which my son responds..... "Yayyyyyy DADDY!!!! You Win!!!!!!"